Not in a good place

dark spaces
empty faces
the silence of a scream

you lived in my head
left me for dead
pieces of a broken dream

© 17.01.2010

Tessa, vyf maande oud vandag.
Hoop jy word gou gesond. xx

Escape

a shadow ahead in my past
as you walk closer away from me
silhouette soldier’s eb and flow
drowning me deeper in your sea

your current takes my hand
as it waltzes me to the core
where truth be told, you will be mine
forever nevermore

(c) 03.01.2010

Tears of a Clown

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

It is no secret that people wear masks to hide behind. It is a book that I can write a different chapter on every single day.

The tears of a clown .. cliché I know. I can’t help but wonder though, how many people actually step forward and take a closer look .. to find that it isn’t always make-up?

Hmmm.

his silent cry melts down his face
but who will catch his falling tears
is he merely misunderstood
or seeking recognition of is fears

a masquerade of one-way glass
which doesn’t tell what lies behind
disguised as a cold hard heart
a pot of gold is what you’ll find

when the moon is out and stars shine bright
he whispers a wish for his demise
overlooking the prayer for him to hold on
written in braille in their blind eyes

© 18.12.2009

Pulling Me Into Misery

puppet on a string
heart on a sleeve
song to say goodbye
as you prepare to leave

withholding the truth
in those unintended lies
cursed by a spell
as I drown in your eyes

stupid rhymes
emotions fade
muscles tighten
when you twist the blade

puppet on a string
heart on a platter
I was the one
that did not matter

© 10.12.2009

Die Besef

die lappop
ruggraatloos saamgestel
uit flenterlap
van gister se verblykte
oulap-se-rooi-maak-mooi

harteloos opgestop
met oorskiet whatever
neem verlief met die
geborduurde geforseerde smile
van kombers-steek garedraad

knopies-oë wat star
strak en koud uitstaar
na die erens in nerens

dan eendag onverwags
nuwe hande om die vuil materiaal te voel
skoon vingers wat kneukel-wit vashou aan n siel
wat verniel en vergete op die ashoop le

en daarmee die eggo
van ‘n (weer) besef

dat my lappop arms
bewegingloos bly hang
al word ek hoe styf vasgehou
want ek het vergeet om te voel

.. en iemand het n lappop op die ashoop weggegooi ..

Eyes Shut Open

colour fades into shades of grey
and little candles light up the sky
solitude pours me a glass of wine
an untold remembrance of you and I

while the trees are sleeping
the ravens never shut their eyes
you raised me up and made me whole
simultaneously orchestrating my demise

colourblind I embrace the rainbow
as you blow the candles one by one
I raise my glass with a Mona Lisa smile
where once you were now is none

© 01.11.2009

Game Over

die doolhof van my gedagtes
binne die ruimte van n vierkant
bring my telkens voor n skaakmat te staan
eenrigtingstrate en cul de sac’s
teen elke randsteen soek ek jou naam

op die spore van gister soek ek jou vandag
die metamorfose van n eens godin
jóú eens godin nou n pion
sit ek vandag kruisbeen onttroon
op die randsteen van jou spel

© 01.11.2009

The Gypsywoman and the Moon

I slowly draw the curtains closed
blinded by the light of the darkness
as a quarter of the rising moon
bids my upside down setting smile farewell

the stars melt in the corners of my eyes
drowning the seams of the mask on my face
a tide of memories washes away but not
rinsing the symphony of your name on my lips

© 26.10.2009

Twaalf

Ek click ‘publish post’ en staar na die twaalf lyne voor my op die skerm.

Twaalf eenvoudige (skynbaar sinnelose) lyne wat meer as twaalf komplekse (belangrikste) maande (van my lewe) verteenwoordig.

Twaalf lyne wat nie rym nie, twaalf lyne wat meer verweef is as die persiese tapyt waarop ek die spreekwoordelike ‘magic carpet ride’ doen na n wereld waar jy nie hééltemal so ver is nie.

n Konstruksie van twaalf lyne wat in hul argitektuur eintlik maar net in twaalf eenvoudige rou eerlike woorde sê:

ek
sal
nooit
weer
in
hierdie
lewe
iemand
so
lief
hê
nie

let me exhale safely
into the palm of your hand
while you reap my soul and
witness the rising of the wraith

the ice in my breath
piercing your skin with flames
the living dead girl I am I said
flesh attached to a shadow

deprived of poetic rhythmic rhymes
my words melt like burning candles
the (wh)y in ‘you’ belongs to me
my answers frozen within your heart

© 25.10.2009

Linger

articulately whispering my screams
while I betray the birth of a brand new day
silently hoping the night would stay for breakfast
and witness with me the new sun shining grey

I beg thee night return to me and
cradle me gently underneath thy dark veil
carry me back to my monochrome world
where I put the rainbow back up for sale

© 10 September 2009

Empty

I have become an empty shadow
leaving pieces of me behind
my reflection is that of a stranger
hoping one day a part of me you’ll find

I tie black ribbons around their wastes
as I wave good mourning to the trees
I feel their breath brushing through my hair
as they whisper hello in the breeze

I pick the fallen stars like flowers
as they lie lifeless on the ground
unlit candles within their bellies
forgotten in the dark not to be found

I am the stranger without a face
my scattered soul like fragmented debris
hoping one day to comlete the picture
and face the reality of the reflection of me

© 06.09.2009

In the Winter of my Second Death

the frostbite of winter’s subtle kiss
draws the contours of my face
pale white skin and dark brown eyes
solitude within a crowded space

I dance with me and I alone
to celebrate the birth of a new season
colour and sunshine and all things bright
a poker-face smile without a reason

I bid winter a joyous farewell
but it refuses to let me go
tears in the rain a common disguise
yet all, but you, the truth will know

© 31.08.2009

All that remains

slit the wrists of my thoughts
deny them entry into my consciousness
just become an empty shell on a seashore
once inhabited by another soul
now deserted
left as a second hand pick-me-up
for curious feet passing me by
waiting for sunset
longing for the fingers of the ocean
to collect my restless remains
when a full moon spring tide
carries me away
and hides me in the depths
beneath the eb and flow
of the liquid darkness
and tucks me into great below

© 24.08.2009

Ashes

ashes to ashes
flames to dust
dreams to a whisper
friendship to lust

so near so far
so everywhere
so lost so found
so extremely rare

you have never belonged to me
and yet I claim you to be mine
camera obscura in a monochrome world
hand in hand with the Angel Divine

silly rhymes and empty words
with spaces in between
how I wish for things to change
for miracles unseen

from lust to friendship
from whispers to screams
from dust to flames
resurrecting my dreams

© 05.08.2009

Tears of the dead

Just a mixture of words that has no beat, rhymeless chanting my chorus of defeat. Too tired to think and too numb to care. I have seen the end before I knew it was there. Hmmm, time to lay me weary head to rest. Let’s flip a coin: insomnia or nightmares, which will it be? Will I be lying awake thinking of you, or will you visit me in a dream?



no need to dry your eyes
for even though they are not blind  you will never see
the truth for what it is alas
a fairytale not meant to be

accept that you’re a dreamer
that lies can never be undone
admit that love is but a fallacy
and you my dear are entitled to none

being trapped within a certain space
can become unbearable at times
but once that space becomes you
suffocation becomes a crime

© 03.08.2009

Nevermore

a fist of flesh bangs against the mirror
shards of glass scattered across the floor
her silent scream echoes in the voice of the raven
when the animated pieces proclaim nevermore

she wishes only to disappear
hence the way she came
a nobody in the nothingness
a naked shadow without a name

black venom shadow girl
with the death look in her eyes
a fist of flesh bangs against the mirror
you are the one that I despise

© 27.07.2009

Close-up

oh what lovely dress you have
velvet and satin and fine black lace
a victorian lady in the light of day
raven dark hair and a porcelain face

but woe the day you break that mould
with dark black smudges under your eyes
a pale white face and scarlet lips
you’ve gotto be one of the devil’s spies

mirror mirror on the wall
who’s reflection is that I see
the poison-girl-drama-queen in their eyes
or the failure known as lil’ old me?

© 13.07.2009

Reënwoorde

JADED BROWN

the pouring rain running across my face
taking with it the colour of my eyes
faded now the windows to my soul
my love for you was my demise

© 12.07.2009


WORDS FAIL

this place
an empty space
not a trace
of your face
leather and lace
no more grace
slowing the pace
for death’s embrace

© 12.07.2009

Your forgotten yesterday

winter has forgotten me outside your window
my numb fingers paralyzed by the cold
frozen palms held pleading towards you
the hands you’ve forgotten to hold

© 19.06.2009

My Silent Suffocation

what a beautiful mourning
as my tears become one with the rain
safe in the arms of sorrow
my heart a wreath of pain

i dwell in unrequited love
every waking hour
beautiful stranger don’t you see
my soul was yours to devour

© 04.06.2009