It has been a good week for her .. to be honest, the best in months. She has been busy. She has made a few decisions, took control, and was found smiling all by herself more than once. She felt strong. In control. Brave.
But she fell more silent as the day progressed.
By nightfall .. she was scared. Not of the dark. She never feared the darkness, ever, for she knew how to find and appreciate the beauty hidden within the shadows.
But that which she anticipated all week long, freedom, space and time, that which was supposed to be her saving grace, became her burden. Every time her thoughts wandered she pusposefully steered them in a specific direction to distract herself.
But it was Friday night. She had freedom. She had space. She had time.
The inevitable happened. There was not enough pressure the following day, Saturday, for it was her day off at work. No deadlines. The people who distracted her during the week were all busy enjoying weekends of their own.
She sighed. He took her hostage once again. And he wasn’t even aware .. he has never been aware.
To start each day without him .. was like stretching your arms in the morning and wanting to get out of bed to start the new day, and find your legs paralysed. Going through the motions .. passive aggressive. Ending each day without him .. was like .. it was simply like a house built on sand. Bricks without cement holding them together.
It has been such a good week. She has supressed her emotions successfully all week long. Until Friday night .. until tonight.
Until ..
.. she became me.
How do I un-love you?
No comments:
Post a Comment